I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
