Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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