ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Randomize