Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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