well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
