Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
