90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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