Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
