Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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