Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
