It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
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This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
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I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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