thus making me awesome and them whores
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
