you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
