I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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