i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
