My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize