it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
