Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
