Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
we made out on top of his cat.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize