you traded sex for a burrito?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
