so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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