Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
