Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
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Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
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That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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