They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
