i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
