i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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