Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
