we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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