i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
