guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
