Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
love makes seman taste better
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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