Kareoke will never be a sober sport
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
