The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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