Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Randomize
