I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
