This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
FUCK WHALES
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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