There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
