I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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