well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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