I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize