I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
