shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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