is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
