my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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