Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I just want nice things and good sex
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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