do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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