DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
