Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
