her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
