D3 body, D1 cock
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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