but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
