thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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