I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Semen is not good for contacts.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
