ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
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We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
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A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize