How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
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