I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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