New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
