We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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