first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
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