found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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