what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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