Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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